Women Who Can’t Cook…Do Exist.

There is no spectacle on earth more appealing than that of a beautiful woman in the act of cooking dinner for someone she loves.
Thomas Wolfe

Beautiful - Just Beautiful

I started with Trinidadian dishes for obvious reasons then branched off into other cultural dishes…

I happen to know how to cook now, and given my successes in the kitchen, I often ask myself why I didn’t commit myself earlier to learning this art. It’s a blessing to me and the ‘wild animals’ for whom I cook for. I now feel that I have another valuable thing to take with me into that first and last relationship I will ever have with one young lady…marriage.

I’ve been sharing my cooking stories with quite a few chicks lately (the format these conversations took…some may call it boasting…others may see it as “just doing what men do”) and some of the responses I’ve gotten from some of these women were shocking…

Here’s how one went the other day –

Me: I made pelau on Sunday…I’m not gonna lie, it was the lick.

Her: Wow that’s so cool, so when are you gonna cook for me?

Me: Next time imma bring some for you to munch on.

Her: Greeeeat. I’d offer to cook you something but I don’t know how to cook.

Me: What? But you’re a woman…what’s wrong with you?

Her: What do you mean what’s wrong with me…just because I’m a woman, you just assume that I should be able to cook?

Me: YES!!! You willy, I expect all women to know at least how to prepare a meal for themselves.

Her: You’re so sexist. Women aren’t only good for cooking and cleaning.

Me: lol…when did I say they were ONLY good for cooking and cleaning? I believe I said that I believed that all women should know how to at least cook a meal for themselves. I mean…if you don’t know how to cook…you’re pretty useless as a woman…it’s not as if you know how to cook but your job sees to it that you don’t have time to cook…so you rely on someone else’s cooking during the week and the weekend you whip something up…but you not knowing how to cook at all? Yea…you’re useless as a woman.

Her: Shut up…not every girl knows how to cook.

Me: True true…quite a few women can’t cook as well as others…but they still see it as important to keep banging out meals for themselves, their partners and their children…are you saying that you’ll be relying on other people’s food to feed you and the people in your house for the rest of your life?

Her: Why can’t the man cook though?

Me: lol you muppet…the same way you’re suggesting that the man learn to cook…the same way you can pick up your lazy self and learn how to cook. Look at you looking to push the responsibility of feeding the family onto the man whilst you chill there on your bum bum. Can your mother cook?

Her: Yea she does all the cooking.

Me: Does she moan about cooking?

Her: Sometimes yea.

Me: She doesn’t moan to your dad does she…he’s probably not around is he?

Her: Shut Up…yes he’s a wasteman, he’s not living with us…

Me: So why don’t you look to relieve your mother with some of her burdens by learning how to cook and then sharing the cooking responsibilities with her?

Her: You’re so rude man shut up.

Me: I’m saying though, you’re telling me that she moans about cooking for you and your brothers…yet she still does it…she still makes sure that it’s done…you know why?

Her: Why?

Me: lol da hell? Because she knows how important it is for children to have a proper home cooked meal from their loving mother. She keeps on cooking for y’all because it’s one of the many way she shows you how much she loves you. You’re half Nigerian and half Jamaican and you don’t know…and don’t care about cooking? Bloody hell you’re useless as a woman.

Her: Look yea shut your mouth, when I’m done uni imma get a top job and hire a maid to do all that cooking for me.

Me: lol…wow…it gets worse the more you talk doesn’t it.

Her: Look Brent yeah f$*k off init.

Me: What?

Her: I’m sorry I didn’t mean to swear, but you’re getting on my nerves with all this cooking sh*t.

Me: lol…you can cuss but can’t cook huh…never mind.

Her: So are you bringing me something that you cooked next week still?

Me: Yeah…if I remember.

Urrrrrrrrrrrr

Listen.

I know men in general take it for granted that most women should already know how to cook because their mothers would have instilled in them the importance of knowing how to cook if it is they are looking to start a family later on in life…

But common young ladies…you can’t possibly look at cooking as a chore that you can decide whether you want to learn it or not…

It should be seen as a MUST…

Just like how y’all see it as a MUST that y’all spend a bucket load of pound coins on your hair…nails and other bodily accessories…Because that’s “just what women/females do”.

Y’all are getting all pretty and making sure it’s maintained because you want the best possible type of young man to be attracted to you and appreciate all that effort that you’ve put in...

How much MORE wonderful would your C.V look if it had “A serious/passionate cook” sitting right there under “Hip Hop fanatic” and “I’m a Gooner and will be for life”?

This Is How It Should Be

Look yeah…

Some of you chicks NEED to fix up and pick up a cook book.

Bare of these white girls I’ve been talking to recently are telling me they cooked jerk chicken and rice for their man the other day…

And this Nigerian and Jamaican young lady is telling me she…

Wasteman

It’s all nonsense bollocks really.

Then it’d be that same black girl who’d turn around and scorn those white girls for “teefing all their men”…

Such nonsense…

Concentrate on getting your “snares” up to scratch and those types of foolish statements wouldn’t be chilling in your vocal passages.

Lol imagine…

I’m getting vex having read this back…

A woman who can’t cook?

Really?

Bloody hell.

P.S.

I’m not saying that women who can’t cook are useless to all men…”just me init” =D

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~ by baybb on February 24, 2010.

10 Responses to “Women Who Can’t Cook…Do Exist.”

  1. LOL BRENT. You’re not SERIOUS. This post gave me endless giggle times on a sad night :o) Lol the way you wrote this was almost like a rant & I loved it, interesting style of expression, I’m hoping to see more more FREQUENTLY please.
    P.S – I’m glad you now know how to cook…I’m coming to your house, I’ll bring something too [don’t worry bravz, I CAN cook…no poison jokes please thanks]

  2. lol, why did you have to mention white women stealing black men? lol there are some cases that women should be excused for their lack of skills in cooking, however, if someone like the girl in the conversation comes across and complains they don’t have food then, well,… i just have no comment.! lol

    • why did you have to mention white women stealing black men?

      Are you one of those girls who find it an awkward subject to talk about?

  3. I LOVE THIS.
    lmfao Brent I look forward to more of your posts because they are SO entertaining yet thought provoking! I agree that if you’re a woman and you can’t cook, you’re useless. How can you be Nigerian with no cooking skills?? Not even jellof rice, which is thee most basic dish. Smh@ them.

  4. And the fact that you wrote “wasteman” under Ainsley Harriot photo had me creasing for at least 8 minutes LMAO.

  5. PAPIIIIIIIIIIIII this post nearly KILLED me. but you know who should be killed? the half NIGERIAN *so embarrassed* and HALF JAMAICAN girl who can’t cook. shame shame shame….i PRIDE my self in my cooking skills…hell if theres one thing i know ive got on lock down is i can COOK. and i love to cook, everywoman should know how to cook! jeez…! and uwa, i see you…one day you, brent and i will have a cookup! WOOP!

  6. ***Me: So why don’t you look to relieve your mother with some of her burdens by learning how to cook and then sharing the cooking responsibilities with her? ***

    Shameful… not because she is a “woman”

    In fact that question should also apply to her bother/s (that’s if she has any). I expect both genders to know simple meal preparation at least.

    ***I know men in general take it for granted that most women should already know how to cook because their mothers would have instilled in them the importance of knowing how to cook if it is they are looking to start a family later on in life…***

    And you make an assumption that “most” women are taught how to cook or they have a mother that cooks when that is not always the case…is it?

    I came from a household, BOTH parents cook!

    Why is it a “must” for women in general? The benefits you described above can be applied to men….

    It is shameful to see men in university stealing other people’s food because they don’t know how to cook!

    Why is it acceptable for them to go back to their mother’s yard or steal food, when they can completely remove the ‘burden’ form others too? And learn to take responsibility themselves!

    In my opinion, both genders should know basic cooking skills….

    • =D

      Interesting comments there young lady…

      “In fact that question should also apply to her bother/s (that’s if she has any). I expect both genders to know simple meal preparation at least. “

      lol nah she doesn’t have any…but lets say that she did. If she had brothers and her brothers didn’t know how to cook…does that now make her situation less shameful now that she is “on par with/in the same position as” her brothers?

      And you make an assumption that “most” women are taught how to cook or they have a mother that cooks when that is not always the case…is it?

      lol.

      Yes. I do make that assumption…and that assumption is based on what I’ve grown up seeing in my culture and the culture of the young woman that I was talking to…in said culture, most women know how to cook and make it part of their duty to teach their daughter(s) how to cook too. Sometime it’s the grandmothers who do the teaching.

      I came from a household, BOTH parents cook!

      lol.

      And so did I, not quite sure of the relevance of this point.

      I was talking to a girl who didn’t know how to cook not a man who didn’t know how to cook.

      Why is it a “must” for women in general? The benefits you described above can be applied to men….

      lol.

      If you say that the benefits described can be applied to men…how does that make what I told her any less on point/relevant?

      You having the belief that both men and women should be able to cook…doesn’t mean that if you find two that don’t, you’ll find it ok/acceptable…because they both don’t know how to cook.

      It is shameful to see men in university stealing other people’s food because they don’t know how to cook!

      lol.

      I would have thought many women would have heard it all before…I thought it was more common for a woman to hear a man say he can’t cook, than for a man to say that he could.

      I personally would be more embarrassed for the girl who’d run in and jack food because she can’t cook, than for a man to run in and jack food because he can’t cook.

      In my opinion, both genders should know basic cooking skills….

      I agree.

  7. I hate to cook. I really don’t like doing groceries. I don’t like standing in line at the grocery shop. I truely hate to figure something out to cook every bloody day. I hate the fact that chicken is so damn expensive overhere in Holland.
    Oh yeah and I laugh at that part about white chicks stealing all the black men.
    Sorry, I’m half Dutch (white) half Tunisian (North-Africa/Arabic) and I’ve been keeping a black man hostage for over 8years from you black women now….not because I know how to cook dishes from his homecountry, not because he’s getting traditional tunisian dishes and not because I’m a housewife that does everything oh so perfectly.
    My food sucks, can’t cook, hate to cook. My cleaning sucks, I can be really messy at times. I hate asking him how ‘his day went’ only to avoid this relationship to become boring. I hate holding hands, I don’t like to sleep in his arms..4mins max, otherwise I feel trapped and can’t breath…

    But still….my dearest black women…..he loves me. Eventhough I am far from perfect….he loves me for me. And you know why?

    Because eventhough I HATE doing all this….in order to take care of my family…my fiancee and my 2 lovely daughters…..All the things I hate…I do with love for them..
    At least I try…

    And him loving me for me..that has nothing to do with skin color. So please continue hating ‘on the white girls’, but that hating will not bring you anything. Hating and nagging about it will make sure that no man, from any race, will be attracted to you..

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